The Sobriety Diaries

I am a recovery alcoholic. I have "recovered" on several occasions. Some of these have been voluntary. Others have been prompted by the gentle application of handcuffs or the dismal lack of funds. This particular period of abstinence has been voluntary. Well....sort of.

As part of my recovery process, I have been going to group therapy. These are mini AA meetings that are refereed by a drug counselor. I'm supposed to sit in these meetings and talk about intimate aspects of my life with a group of total strangers. Yeah, right.


As you might expect, a room full of alcohol and drug users can produce some pretty strange imagery. During a recent group; as a fellow hostage was sharing about about their sponsor, Sven Golly; I started to drift into this sort of surreal MTV documentary that was part Postcards From The Edge, part Analyze This!, and part One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. I can only imagine what goes through the minds of the other occupants.


After two weeks of meetings and a substance abuse evaluation, I was given a copy of my advanced treatment program. It stated that I have abused alcohol and drugs for thirty years. It also stated that I was alcohol and cannabis dependent. Sounds like I'm the poster child for the Betty Ford Clinic, doesn't it? Well, what I told them and the conclusions they've reach don't exactly match. You decide.

Like alot of Americans kids, I started partying in high school. I'm not trying to play the blame game here, but this was in the mid to late seventies and if you remember,( I understand if you don't ),during that decade we had a pretty liberal attitude toward drugs. Hell, at the time NORML was even trying to get cocaine decriminalized. Like many of my classmates, I went to my share of parties and did a cornucopia of drugs.

After high school, the drug use has been has been practically non-existent.With the exception of one downer, which I took when I was already drunk-visualize The Hangover- and one overnight session with cocaine, in the last twenty-two years all I've done is drink and smoke pot. The pot smoking has been very sporadic. ( The last time I smoked a joint was over six months ago.) Unfortunately, the alcohol intake has been slightly more than sporadic. I am what is known as a "periodic binger". This means that I can take it or leave it. However, when I do take it, I take it very well.

These are the facts that were revealed. Maybe I'm deranged; addled by too much drug use, but I think the conclusions are a little misleading. Now, at least there is a permanent record. Isn't technology wonderful?